Let’s face it. No matter how hard we try to belong, sometimes outside forces will always attempt to push us away. You spend so much time in a state of mind that convinces you that you’re almost so true. Maybe you even tell people that you are the truest form of belonging there is. But you can’t help but wonder, if you belong, then why do some people still treat you as if you don’t?
So many times you’ve been told.
“You are one.”
And then actions pull through and suddenly you’re rocking back and forth on your bed, your mind racing, trying to hold onto the bit of hope that may reside to tell you that your puzzle piece fits where it is supposed to.
I struggle with this myself, more than I wish I had to. Don’t let anyone try and tell you that you don’t need to belong anywhere. It’s human nature. We all must feel some sense of a belonging, or else we sometimes lose what our purpose is to begin with. Some people find their belonging in a church group, an after school club, or a family, blood or not.
To me, it’s simple. If you’re questioning it, you don’t belong. Whether that reasoning is from an outside source, or your own brain, something is halting you from belonging.
An outside source attempting to exclude you from where you belong won’t accept you. Maybe this person is jealous, or they lack their own self-confidence and must keep things the way that they wish for it to be. They display selfishness and rude gestures towards anything to do with you, or something you enjoy. Its a sucky situation, but these people exist, and always will exist. They don’t support you. They don’t want to open their arms to you. It’s a sad, human who feels the need to do something like that to someone. My motto has always been “don’t be bitter, just be better.” If you seek revenge, you sink to their level and that makes you no better than them. Simply smile, and know that you treat people better. Know in your heart that one day you will be so much happier than a person who tried so desperately to bring someone else down. I also believe that if you belong to that area, someone else would stand up for you if you truly belonged and were loved like they claim. If not, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
On the other hand, sometimes it can be a self proclaimed outcasting that is preventing you from belonging. You may second guess everything, or feel as if you’re a nuisance. You find yourself distancing from things in hopes that you don’t bother anyone, or make a fool out of yourself. The only one who thinks you don’t blend in is yourself, my dear. People have their arms spread for you, but aren’t going to push you in. You must trust and fall in yourself. However, this may be difficult if you have ever endured an experience like the one above from an out source. It takes time, and especially trust. You must converse with the people around you and share with then your fears and thoughts. They may try to help you out by reassuring you. It is all a big trial and error experiment. You may find yourself trusting, but then it end up they lied to you the whole time. Next time, your trust is diminished a little more. It all comes with experience.
Attempting to belong is never easy. When you are doused with selfish people, or your own anxiety, it can be especially difficult. The best way I’ve found to see if someone is being honest is to see that they never give up. This person will include you at all times, and stand up for you if an outside source is trying to bring you down. Those people care and want you to truly feel like you belong.
At the end of the day, remember to not let the harshness of people and the world make you bitter. People will try to drag you down, but that, in turn, simply means that they are beneath you. The girl who spreads gossip about you obviously can’t keep your name out of her mouth, but at least you’re on her mind.
Be better. Smile even though at times the universe seems as if it doesn’t want you to. Smile because you are better than any of the bitter ever will have a chance to be.
Until next time,
Quote of the week:
“Silence is the best response to a fool.”