If only I could tell you how much you will overcome in just a short span of 17 years.
If only I could travel back to the nights you lay restless with tear stains on your pillow to tell you that smiles will come soon.
It is only now that I look back at pictures and see how joyous you were before life threw us a curveball.
You didn’t expect it, any of it.
You weren’t expecting for Daddy to not love you anymore.
You weren’t expecting to grow up too fast.
The only things you ever expected were honest “I love you”s and Barney episodes.
I can’t go back and hold you when you had no one, and I can’t be the one to teach you just how much makeup can cover. However, if I could, this is what I would say:
Life isn’t supposed to be this down. And it will take some time, but eventually you won’t be this way anymore. There will come a silver lining.
It will hurt like hell when you lose the friends you thought would always be by your side. Fortunately enough, they’ll go, but another one will come. A better one will come. You’ll find yourself wondering where she had been that whole time.
Nothing will ever help your broken feelings more than popping in a Demi Lovato CD and singing at the top of your lungs.
Driving illegally may sound like it’s not so bad, but in retrospect, if you’re going to do it, make sure you don’t speed past a cop.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re heart is too big. You’ll always be one of the few that may just care too much. But it is always better to be the one who smiled rather than the one who didn’t smile back.
Endings will always be sad. And you will cry. A lot.
When you find yourself wondering why it is that you are where you are, always remember you’re there for a reason.
Trust your instincts.
Write. About anything, about everything. You may just write a play one day. (wink wink)
A man will come along who shows you that trust can be real, and as he says a million times, “Boys are cheap and superficial” he’s not lying.
Play with your Barbies as long as you want. You’ll miss your play time when you grow up.
You’re never too old to watch a Disney movie. Screw what anyone else tells you.
The stage will become your sanctuary. (actually, back of the stage, but either way)
That bathing suit looks amazing. Stop worrying about what others think.
No matter how many times your grandmother points out your flaws, know that it’s okay to not be like them. You are and forever will be beautiful.
Hug your sister. Hug her a lot. It’ll be you and her against the big, bad world.
Smile some more.
Compliment people more. Everyone has their demons. Its nice to have some rays of sun.
Its better to say you did it than to regret not doing it.
And last but not least, the only person standing in your way
And as I lay here typing this, I realize that not only does this apply to my younger self, it also applies to me now. It can apply to everyone.
Try writing a letter to yourself and realize that even though the 2 year old, the 5 year old, the 6 year old, and the 8 year old you are long past gone, he/she is still inside of you. Treat yourself as if you just met them today.
We all need healing sometimes.
Until next time,