To the sweet boy. You were 5. I was 5. You lived down the street, and kissed me on the cheek at your skating rink birthday party after giving me a bouquet of flowers. I’m jealous of your girlfriend today.
To the nice boy. You were 7. I was 7. You had lots of freckles, and held my hand at recess everyday. You wanted to be an astronaut one day. I hope you did it.
To the strange boy. You were 11. I was 8. You were tall and asked me to take off my clothes for you in your garage to “look at me” when we were alone. I hope you grew up.
To the mean boy. You were 10. I was 9. You had bruised hands from a mean adult and punched me in the stomach one day at recess. I hope you channel your anger somewhere else now.
To the scary boy. You were 38. I was 10. You lived in the room down the hall and left marks on me when you were angry and your eyes flashed. You poured my cereal in the morning. I’m sorry I did something wrong.
To the mad boy. You were 12. I was 12. You had deep green eyes and called me fat everyday on the bus. You never apologized. But I forgive you.
To the creepy boy. You were 14. I was 13. You bought me presents a lot but noticed places I was too young to know about at the time. I hope you realize the scarring you brought me.
To the heart breaker boy. You were 16. I was 16. You played a lot of girls but kissed me harder than anyone had before. Then you forgot me. I hope this makes you remember.
To the disgusting boy. You were 20. I was 17. You are supposed to stop if someone says stop. When I said no. I meant no. I hope you rot in hell.
Being hit, being touched, being bruised, whatever you did, I forgive you. I hope you grew up. I hope you learned to be a father. I hope you treat someone else better now. And I don’t hate you anymore
To the man. You weren’t my blood. I wasn’t your blood. You didn’t have to take me in like your own. You didn’t have to teach me what a real man should be like. You didn’t have to show me the good in the male population.
But you did.
I hope you know who you are. And I hope you realize how much I appreciate what you did for me.
All of you.